12 minutes
Ask before helping, speak to the person Handle the most common in-person moments well: offering help, mobility devices and personal space, eye level, and conversations that include an interpreter, companion or support worker.
What you’ll be able to do Demonstrate respectful in-person interaction with people who use mobility devices, interpreters, companions or support workers by asking before helping, speaking to the person and respecting personal space. Compare the responses to this question and explain your choice: What should the staff member have done? Document a next step for Ask before helping, speak to the person: In your next in-person interaction with a disabled person, notice where your eyes and your questions go, and keep them on the person. Help is an offer, not an action Most disability etiquette fits in one habit: ask, then follow the answer . Disabled people navigate their lives every day and know what works. When you see someone who might want help, ask, “Would you like assistance?” If the answer is no, that is the end of it, without a second offer or a hurt look. If the answer is yes, ask what would help rather than guessing. Grabbing an arm, pushing a wheelchair, taking a bag or steering a blind person by the shoulder are not help; they are taking over, and they can be dangerous. A person using a cane or a walker is balancing. A wheelchair user knows the route.
Mobility devices are part of a person’s personal space. Do not lean on a wheelchair, hang a coat on it, move a walker out of the way or pick up crutches to be helpful. Ask first. For a conversation longer than a minute or two with a wheelchair user, sit down or step back so you are at a comfortable eye level. Standing over someone at a tall counter is tiring for them and makes the conversation feel like an inspection. Coming around the counter with a clipboard costs you nothing.
The third habit is speak to the person . When someone arrives with a sign language interpreter, a companion, a support worker or a family member, staff often drift toward the other adult: “Does she have her card?” “Can you tell him we need a signature?” The person in front of you is the one with the business. Look at them, ask them, answer them. The interpreter or support worker will do their part without being managed.
Three common situations Mobility device Interpreter Companion or support worker
Ask before helping and accept no. Do not touch, lean on or move the device. Clear the route rather than steering the person. For longer conversations, get to eye level. Do not ask what happened to them.
Face the Deaf person and speak directly to them in the first person: “Do you have your identification?” not “Ask her if she has her identification.” Speak at a normal pace and volume. Pause naturally. The interpreter interprets everything said in the room, including side comments, so say only what you mean the person to hear. Let the Deaf person and the interpreter choose where to sit, usually with the interpreter beside you so the person can see you both. In a video call, pin the interpreter and keep your camera on.
Greet the person first. Direct questions to them and wait for their answer, even if it takes time or comes through the companion. A support worker is there to assist the person, not to answer for them. If the person indicates they want the companion to speak for them, that is their choice to make, out loud, in your presence.
Keep your eyes and your questions on the person What you can change You control where you look and whom you address when a disabled person arrives with someone else.
What to watch for Do not turn to the interpreter, companion or support worker with “Can you ask her” or “Does he.” Do not thank the interpreter for the person’s answers.
Your next step In your next such conversation, address the person by name at the start and every time you ask a question.
Small things that are not small Introduce yourself to a blind or low-vision person by name when you approach, and say when you are leaving.
Offer your arm to guide, if asked, rather than taking theirs; describe steps, doors and turns as you go.
Shake hands, or offer to, the same as with anyone; a person with limited hand use may offer a left hand or a different greeting.
Do not pat a wheelchair user on the head or shoulder. It is a gesture for children.
If someone’s speech is hard to understand, say so honestly and ask them to repeat; do not nod along.
Do not ask what happened, what their diagnosis is, or whether they can have children. Curiosity is not a professional need.
Scripts that work Offering help
“Would you like any assistance?” Then, if yes: “What would be most helpful?” Then do that, not something else.
When the answer is no
“Sure.” Nothing more. A second offer or a visible reaction turns a polite no into a negotiation.
With an interpreter present
Speak to the Deaf person in the first person: “Do you have your card with you?” The interpreter will handle the rest.
Companion answers for the person
Turn back to the person: “And what would you like to do, Mr. Lee?” Wait. Give the person the chance to answer or to say they want the companion to speak.
Meeting a blind colleague in the hall
“Hi, it is Priya from licensing.” At the end: “I am heading off now.” Do not grab an arm or make them guess who you are.
Try a situation In a county service center lobby, a man using a walker is moving slowly toward the check-in kiosk. A staff member hurries over, takes his elbow, and says, “Here, let me get you to a chair, you can wait there and I will bring the paperwork to you.”
What should the staff member have done? Exactly this; helping quickly shows respect and keeps the lobby moving.
Approach, make eye contact, and ask, “Would you like any assistance?” If he says no, let him continue. If he says yes, ask what would help.
Say nothing, since offering help might be offensive.
Consider your choice Try another response Carry this forward Offer, do not act: “Would you like assistance?” and accept no as a complete answer.
A wheelchair, cane, walker or crutches is part of a person’s personal space; do not touch, lean on or move it without being asked.
Address the person, not the interpreter, companion, support worker or family member, and let the interpreter interpret everything.
A scenario decision in a county lobby and a knowledge check on working with an interpreter.
In your next in-person interaction with a disabled person, notice where your eyes and your questions go, and keep them on the person.
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