10 minutes
Changing the process Build seven adjustments into every conflict conversation, from a written agenda to one access question asked of everyone, and notice how they help people who are not neurodivergent too.
What you’ll be able to do Apply seven adjustments to a conflict conversation and explain why each one helps neurodivergent staff and often everyone else. Compare the responses to this question and explain your choice: What is the best response? Draft Before we meet for your work, including what we will talk about, how you can take part, pausing. Adjustments that help everyone These adjustments help neurodivergent staff and often help everyone else too. Being tired, anxious, new to English, dealing with trauma or simply better on paper than in a live argument all make the same design useful. Build the ramp, and more than one group uses it.
What to change in the process Send the agenda and main issues in writing ahead of time.
Allow written options, not only live debate: email, chat or a shared document.
Let either person call a short break without it being treated as walking out.
Ask clear questions. Instead of "How does that make you feel?" try "Is this about fairness, workload, respect or safety?"
Say the request out loud. Do not rely on hints.
Separate what someone meant from how it landed.
Ask every participant, "Is there anything that would make this conversation easier to take part in?" Do not wait for a diagnosis.
I am listening. I need a minute to find the right words.
A line anyone can use in the moment. It stops the other person from filling the silence with a worse story. Before we meet A short note to send with any invitation to a difficult conversation. It gives people the information and control that make participation possible.
What we will talk about The main issues, listed plainly, in the order we will take them. Nothing new will be raised in the meeting without agreement.
How you can take part In the meeting, in writing beforehand, in writing afterward, or a mix. All three count the same.
Pausing Either of us can ask for a short break at any time. A break is not walking out, and we will pick up where we stopped.
One question for everyone Is there anything that would make this conversation easier to take part in? Lighting, sound, timing, written prompts, a support person, anything else. You do not need to give a reason.
Afterward I will send a short written summary of what we agreed, with who does what by when, and you can correct anything you could not say in the room.
Adapt this for your setting and attach it to your next meeting invitation. Then make sure every line is true.
Browse and download only. Staff notes are not typed or saved on this page.
Download this published draft Make the adjustments the default, not the exception What you can change You control whether access is something a person has to ask for, and explain, or something the process already offers to everyone.
What to watch for Do not grant a written agenda or a break as a personal favor to the one person who asked. It marks them, and it leaves everyone who did not ask without it.
Your next step Put the seven adjustments in the way your team runs every difficult conversation, and say so in the invitation.
Carry this forward Send the agenda and main issues in writing ahead of time, allow written options alongside live discussion, and let either person call a short break without it being treated as walking out.
Ask clear, choice-based questions, say the request out loud, and separate what someone meant from how it landed.
Ask every participant, "Is there anything that would make this conversation easier to take part in?" Do not wait for a diagnosis.
A scenario decision, a knowledge check and a before-the-meeting note adapted for your team.
Use the before-the-meeting note for your next difficult conversation, and keep the one access question in every invitation from now on.
Browse and download only. Course notes are not typed or saved on this page.
Reset this lesson
Previous lesson Next lesson Carry this into practice Notice where standard conflict resolution assumes one kind of communicator, adjust the process so more than one kind of brain can use it, and run mediation that stays neutral by making participation possible for everyone.
Return to the experience: What did you notice or try, whose perspective informed it, and what would you keep or adjust?
Participation and course completion in this program do not count toward DHS-required training credits unless management, a director, or DHS leadership expressly approves an exception.
